Kisah Cinta Ludwig Van Beethoven

Ludwig Van Beethoven (1770-1827), composer Simfoni no 9 yang terkenal itu, ternyata pernah memiliki hubungan asmara dengan seorang gadis. Sayangnya, sampai sekarang, gadis itu masih saja misterius, sama misteriusnya dengan kehidupan sang composer itu sendiri.

Pada awal tahun 1800, Beethoven memutuskan utk segera mengakhiri masa lajangnya. Ia sempat mengatakan kepada sahabat karibnya, Wegeler, bahwa ada seorang gadis yang mencintainya dan ia cintai. Gadis itu bernama Countess Giulietta Guicciardi, muridnya, dan sepupu dari Therese-Josephine, anak2 perempuan dari Count von Brunsvik. Kepada wanita itulah, ia mendedikasikan Piano Concerto in C Sharp Minor, Opus 27, No. 2, yg dikenal dengan Moonlight Sonata. Tetapi, cintanya kandas di tengah jalan, tatkala gadis pujaannya menikahi Count Gallenberg, rekan dari Beethoven. Ia sempat merasa depresi, dan peristiwa ini merupakan titik awal dari gangguan jiwanya. Selain gadis itu, Beethoven pernah juga ingin melamar saudara sepupuny, yang telah menjadi janda, Josephine. Tetapi lagi2 rencana pernikahanny gagal, disebabkan ketidaksiapan dari Beethoven dan tekanan dari keluarga Josephine. Selang beberapa tahun kemudian, tepatnya tahun 1810, ia merasa menemukan calon pengantin wanita yang cocok, Therese Malfatti, anak perempuan dari salah seorang dokter pribadinya. Tetapi, pada akhirnya, toh cintanya kandas juga. Entah kenapa, Beethoven selalu mengalami kegagaln cinta.

Yang menarik adalah adanya fakta jika ternyata ia masih memiliki seorang pujaan hati –yang kemungkinan menjadi wanita yang paling ia cintai dalam hidupnya-. Fakta itu berupa penemuan 3 surat misterius, beberapa saat setelah kematiannya. Surat2 itu disimpan oleh Beethoven di dalam rak meja yang terkunci rapat. Pada surat itu tidak ditemui nama sang gadis ataupun alamat sang gadis. Tetapi, Beethoven menyebut wanita itu sebagai Immortal Beloved. Surat-surat itu antara lain berisi surat cinta, surat keluh kesahnya, ataupun surat yang hanya berisi cerita2 ringan saja. Pada surat-surat itu hanya ditemukan tanggal dan bulan penulisan, tanpa tahun penulisan. Diduga kuat, surat itu ia tulis sekitar tahun 1806.

Letter 1

July 6, in the morning

My angel, my all, my very self -

Only a few words today and at that with pencil (with yours) - Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon - what a useless waste of time -
Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks - can our love endure except through sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one another; can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine -
Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be -
Love demands everything and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and to you with me.
But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I -
My journey was a fearful one; I did not reach here until 4 o'clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the post-coach chose another route, but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was made fearful of a forest, but that only made me the more eager - and I was wrong.
The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road.
Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road.
Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - Yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties -
Now a quick change to things internal from things external.
We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life -
If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these.
My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all -
Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours.
The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be -

Your faithful LUDWIG

Letter 2

Evening, Monday, July 6

You are suffering, my dearest creature - only now have I learned that letters must be posted very early in the morning on Mondays to Thursdays - the only days on which the mail-coach goes from here to K. -
You are suffering -
Ah, wherever I am, there you are also - I will arrange it with you and me that I can live with you.
What a life!!! thus!!! without you - pursued by the goodness of mankind hither and thither - which I as little want to deserve as I deserve it -
Humility of man towards man - it pains me - and when I consider myself in relation to the universe, what am I and what is He - whom we call the greatest - and yet - herein lies the divine in man -
I weep when I reflect that you will probably not receive the first report from me until Saturday -
Much as you love me - I love you more -
But do not ever conceal yourself from me - good night -
As I am taking the baths I must go to bed -
Oh God - so near! so far!
Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of heaven?

Good morning, on July 7

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us
I can live only wholly with you or not at all
Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits
Yes, unhappily it must be so
You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never
Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life
Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men
At my age I nedd a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection?
My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day
therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once
Be calm, only by a clam consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together
Be calm
love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you -
you
you
my life
my all
farewell.
Oh continue to love me
never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

Ludwig Van Beethoven 1827